This truly is the Conspiracy Claim of the past Week: The Super Bowl Is Being Rigged to Help Taylor Swift Help Joe Biden (you can insert your face-palm moment about here) …
Right-wing video producer and Turning Point USA activist Benny Johnson tweeted Sunday night, “The NFL is rigged,” followed up with another tweet claiming, “Taylor Swift is an op. It’s all fake. You’re being played.”
… er yes, you are indeed being played … by MAGA nutters who make deeply stupid claims like this.
He was not a lone voice …
Former congressional candidate and right-wing pundit Jack Lombardi tweeted a picture of Swift congratulating Kelce with a kiss after the Chiefs’ latest win, declaring, “I have never been more convinced that the Super Bowl is rigged,” claiming that the Chiefs’ journey to the Super Bown is “totally scripted” to position Swift and Kelce to endorse Biden after the Super Bowl win. Lombardi tweeted the same picture on Monday morning claiming, without any evidence of course, that the Swift-Kelce romance is “fake” and designed somehow to manipulate white suburban women into voting for Biden.
Can it get any weirder?
Hey, this is MAGA, of course it can, so here you go …
Former Trump attorney Jenna Ellis took the Swift speculation a bit further on her show Monday morning, raising the prospect that Swift might replace Biden on the 2024 ticket.
Even OAN chipped in to all the lunacy with their own bizarre spin on it …
So yes, time to facepalm once again.
As I’ve often observed, whenever you grasp the thought that nobody could possibly be that stupid, up pops MAGA to prove that thought to be ever so wrong.
This perhaps nicely sums it up …
Moving on, below you will once again find my usual selection of some truly bizarre and extreme claims that have popped up during the last 7 days. Each is laced with my snarky commentary.
With my usual hat tip to my various sources, let’s once again dive into this very murky pool of absurdity and stupidity.
Christian Nationalism
Rick Joyner claims that “God likes republican forms of government,” which is why “the first republic in history was with the children of Israel in the wilderness.”
- This is, of course, some nonsense that Joyner picked up from Christian nationalist pseudo-historian David Barton.
- It is simply hilarious that he equates “republican forms of government” as something that is akin to aimlessly wandering around a desert for over 40+ years completely lost.
- Can anybody point out the chapter in Exodus where Moses gets elected, I appear to have missed that bit … or … perhaps Rick is suggesting that “Republican forms of government” don’t involve democracy.
- In other words, Moses was President, Aaron was vice President, Miriam was Secretary of State, and so it’s a family dictatorship according to Rick. Now which family does that immediately bring to mind?
Oregon State Rep. E. Werner Reschke recently said atheists and Muslims were unfit for public office. After intense backlash, he now claims he was “grossly taken out of context.” He was not. We have receipts.
- Does anyone really expect christians to tell the truth anymore?
- Since he claims “out of context”, then I do have to wonder what context would make this OK.
New Arizona GOP Chair Gina Swoboda Tells Bannon God Put Her In Position For 2024
- Hey, all you gods out there, which of you f**kers out there did this to us, come on now, own up, was it you Loki?
MAGA pastor/Trump cultist Mark Burns declares that “at the end of the day, our true enemy is Satan. Also, the Democratic Party and their evil policies.”: “This is the Lord’s side and the other side is the Devil’s side.”
- Would this by any chance possibly be the same Mark Burns who was confronted on camera about his biographical details being total fiction?
- So … apparently not supporting Mr 91 Indictments, a guy is also very credibly accused of sexual assault, a.k.a. Mr Grab-them-by-the-pussy, means that you are Satanic. I’m not exactly convinced that Mr Burns fully grasps the values he is promoting here.
- Meanwhile I have it on excellent authority that God hates MAGA.
Ben Zeisloft proclaims that “Christian men should rule their homes, their churches, and their governments after the model and under the authority of Jesus.”
- Ben is basically telling us that having a dick entitles him to be a dick
- Meanwhile, Christian women should endeavour to tell Ben to f**k off.
- This perhaps also explains why the evangelical divorce rate is far far higher than the national average.
Pennsylvania state Sen. Doug Mastriano says that calling people like him Christian nationalists is “election interference.”
- I’m not sure I grasp why he is actually bothered. As a devout Christian Nationalist, he does not actually believe in democracy, but instead a theocracy.
- Notes from his Wikipedia Page: …“Mastriano is a prominent figure in fundamentalist Christian nationalism and has called the separation of church and state a myth.[5][6] He has made social media posts referencing QAnon and has spoken at events that promoted QAnon and 9/11 conspiracy theories.[1][7][8][9][10][11] An election denier and self-professed close ally of former president Donald Trump, Mastriano received national attention for his efforts to overturn the 2020 United States presidential election” … in other words, he is not just a bit nutty, but instead is a total fruitcake.
The Cult of Trump
Trump campaign troll Brenden Dilley is not happy with the Family Research Council’s David Closson for criticizing the cultish “So God Made Trump” video produced by Dilley’s “meme team.”: “You’re just bloviating about how you’re an expert on God and the Bible, but what you really are is a gigantic cunt.”
- If these total lunatics are going to proceed to eat each other for lunch, then I’m all for it and will happily sit back, break out the popcorn, and enjoy the show.
Since we are on the topic of that cultish video, Paula White, former President Donald Trump’s faith adviser, on the other hand, seems to be a big fan of the video.
- Reminder: Paula White rather famously had an affair with televangelist Benny Hinn. In other words, these grifters don’t just fuck their gullible audience, they also fuck each other … literally.
- For those wondering, but wish to avoid watching the video, it paints a picture of Trump as Jesus… “Shepard that’ll never leave us nor forsake us” (Warning, if you do watch, then you will need a bucket because watching it will result in you throwing up).
- The propaganda: “God made Trump” … The Truth: “Trump made himself God”.
Being fact-checked in real-time can be a real pain in the you know what for Trump Cultists …
Christian “Love”
Tony Perkins is upset about Rep. Ilhan Omar delivering a “speech to Somalis in Minnesota in her native language”: “We have a member of Congress that we have to try to translate her speech into English to know what she was saying.”
- Nobody tell Perkins about the GOP’s annual Spanish language address to the nation!
- His objection to her speech is utterly bizarre. He claims … “she identified more as a Somali than as an American”, and they believe this to be horrendous because she is an American citizen now.
William Wolfe praised Michael Cassidy for destroying a Satanic display in the Iowa state capitol, though the article appears to have been removed from the Standing for Freedom Center’s website: “The fact that the Satanic display was granted a place at the Iowa Capitol in the first place is an affront to our American and Christian principles and a testament to the moral decay that has permeated our society. What Cassidy did, by destroying the Satanic display, was an act of bravery and virtue. It was a courageous stand against the encroachment of evil in our midst, a defiant gesture that affirmed the sacredness of our Christian faith.”
- Backstory: The “Satanic Display” was a secular homage to empathy and decency and was put up by the Satanic Temple. They don’t actually believe in Satan, but instead use Satanic imagery to simply troll the religious who strive to breach the wall of separation. Their display triggered one deeply religious representative into smashing it up.
- Meanwhile, Mr Wolfe now seriously argues that prosecuting Mr Cassidy for smashing up the display is “discrimination” against Christians. To consider that to be a valid argument you would need to seriously embrace the idea that being “Christian” was a “Get-Out-Of-Jail” free card. The legal system enters stage left to say “Nope”.
Conspiracies
Roseanne Barr is a full-on QAnon conspiracy theorist, but that hasn’t stopped Ken Paxton, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Vivek Ramaswamy,Tucker Carlson, Rudy Giuliani, Dinesh D’Souza, Kari Lake, and others from appearing on her podcast in recent months.
- The “Birds of a Feather” proverb quite naturally springs to mind.
Wall of Separation
Once again the “Oh, you want to fund that religion, well OK then, how about this religion?” stance wins the day and reveals why the state really should remain neutral …
- For those unfamiliar with The Satanic Temple and wondering, they don’t actually believe in Satan, but rather they are using fire to fight fire. They were founded to push back against the intrusion of religion into places that really should remain totally neutral. As you can see from the above, it is an effective strategy.
- So yes, in this case the devil really was in the details (Oh come now, who could possibly resist making that quip?)
Meanwhile …
Sexting Ban
- Least you wonder, yes Dusty’s church is Southern Baptist, the group that has had a longstanding sexual abuse problem. If he actually cared about victims of sex crimes, he should be going after the predators in his religion, not consenting adults who enjoy pleasure.
- Republicans: “Get the government off our backs!” Also Republicans: “What’s going on in my neighbor’s bedroom and how can we use the government to stop it?”
Homophobia on Steroids
and yes, the tweet is indeed factual.
- John MacArthur protects child molesters on his staff
- Evangelicals: meh
- Paul pressler faces several accusations of molesting young men
- Evangelicals: meh
- Alistair begg tells a woman its OK to attend her grandson’s queer wedding as an act of love
- Evangelicals: OH MY GOD, TOO FAR
Moving on, this also happened this past week (see tweet below)…
- Just to highlight the effectiveness of this, the number of people successfully “transformed” by for example prayer or let’s be more specific, “conversion therapy” … is … (Oh come now, you know the answer) … exactly zero. Yes there are claims, but when scientifically tested, it is revealed to be total delusional BS.
- People are traumatised by religious shaming and then convinced that when “conversion” fails for them (it never works) that it is their fault. This is not only deeply immoral, but it is a hideously obnoxious trauma to inflict upon people.
- Bottom Line: LGBT do not need to be “saved” or “transformed”. It’s the bigots who need to be “transformed” into decent human beings
Greg has been banging on about Witches … again.
These were his witches this past week – Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, Britney, and Christina Aguilera…
- If I was given a choice between Hate Preacher Greg … or … Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, Britney, and Christina Aguilera, then you can perhaps guess who gets my vote every time.
Deeply Weird
Ben Zeisloft claims that “the Second Amendment is a Christian proposition”: “The right to protect your life from evildoers flows directly from the inalienable right to life you have from your Creator.”
- Bible Jesus: Was famously non-violent (For example, “Turn the other cheek“). Republican Jesus: Seen riding into town on a dinosaur while packing an AK57 ready to crack a few heads.
- “Blessed are the meek…” … said Jesus every time he mowed-down a column of Roman Centurions with an AR15.
Scott Lively says that pharmaceuticals and drugs “serve as a form of ‘portal’ that allows demons to influence and torment.”
- This week’s weekly rant via Wing Nut Daily is apparently a cutting edge insight that comes directly from the dark ages.
- Side note – the real shtick here is that he is using his article to flog his three book series on “the scholarship of demonology“. He is striving to be a Christian version of Stephen King. (Hot Tip: No actual scholars were involved in his “scholarship”)
- The weird thing about Demons is that they tend to only bother deeply religious people who believe they are real. Others … nope, nada, not even a whisper from under the bed. What is actually in play with such claims is an abdication of any personal responsibility for individual actions and choices. In others words, oh gosh no it was not me that stole the church donations, demons made me do it.
- Side Note: I once knew a pastor whose go-to for everything was “demons”. Whenever anybody came to him with a problem, his one size fits all answer was always “demons”, as in “that guy has an overeating demon”, or “this guy has a laziness demon”. Apparently no real-world solutions existed. He was also casting out demons in most meetings, and surprisingly enough it was the most deeply religious folks in his congregation that had demons cast out every week while visitors looked on in astonishment at all this religious theatre. Honestly, he should have called it The Haunting of Hill House Church.
Todd Coconato warns Christians not to engage in yoga, as it represents a false religion.
- While it may indeed have non-Christian religious roots, as practised by most, it is literally just a form of exercise and relaxation therapy
For a mere $25, one can purchase a Roger Stone Did Nothing Wrong commemorative coin.
- Literally setting fire to twenty-five $1 bills would bring you far greater value.
- The guy who supposedly did nothing wrong, was found guilty of 7 felony counts and sentenced to jail for 40 months in 2020. He only dodged that via a Trump pardon.
- Would this Roger Stone just happen to be the same guy who started his career in the early 1970s as a Nixon “dirty trickster” … and it has been downhill ever since then?
Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick has been reading the Book of Revelation and claims that President Joe Biden, Vice President Kamala Harris, Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas, & White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre remind him of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: “Death rides with them.”
- But … none of those supposed housemen on this cowboy’s list own an actual horse?
- If you are looking for a top four turd list these days, and you stuck with just Texas, then Cruz, Abbott, Patrick, and Paxton would all be really good choices. But widen the scope to the world stage and picking Iran, Russia, N Korea, and MAGA, also puts you in the right ball park.
- Reminder: When it comes to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse riding across the landscape bringing death, this guy literally did a job interview for that role. He is the guy who strongly pushed against lockdown during COVID. He stated that he wanted to keep the economy going because that was the most important thing, and so old people should be willing to die for that cause.
Ali Alexander says that if he ever becomes Pope, “I’m launching a crusade and every pagan symbol will be wiped from the face of the earth. To be called a monster by the future you saved is the price sometimes.”
- “If I ever become pope…” … says the guy who has also claimed to be a time traveller, but does not appear to know that being pope is not going to be part of his future career.
The False Profit$
Self-proclaimed “prophet” Hank Kunneman says that “Jesus wasn’t some little limp-wristed, weak-kneed little guy that walked around.” How does Kunneman know this? “I’ve seen Jesus. He’s a man’s man!”
- Jesus was dark skinned and wokety woke woke. He really needs to stop with his fake history.
A Positive Item: Penn Jillette has Quit Libertarianisn
A fascinating Interview with Penn Jillette was published in Cracked under the title “Penn Jillette Wants to Talk It All Out“. Below is a snippet of note (It’s positive stuff, a good news item that highlights he is one of the good guys, I’m not mocking him by highlighting this, I love the guy) …
For so long, you identified as Libertarian. What changed?
I completely have not used the word Libertarian in describing myself since I got an email during lockdown where a person from a Libertarian organization wrote to me and said, “We’re doing an anti-mask demonstration in Vegas, and obviously we’d like you to head it.” I looked at that email and I went, “The fact they sent me this email is something I need to be very ashamed of, and I need to change.” Now, you can make the argument that maybe you don’t need to mandate masks — you can make the argument that maybe that shouldn’t be the government’s job — but you cannot make the argument that you shouldn’t wear masks. It is the exact reciprocal of seatbelts because if I don’t wear a seatbelt, my chances of fucking myself up increase — if I don’t wear a mask, the chance of fucking someone else up increase.
Many times when I identified as Libertarian, people said to me, “It’s just rich white guys that don’t want to be told what to do,” and I had a zillion answers to that — and now that seems 100 percent accurate.
I seriously do admire someone who becomes far more open-minded and empathetic, and more of a critical thinker with age. It really is a stark contrast to the usual descent into crankiness and selfishness that is the path of so many.
This is how you do TV Interviews
Jim McDefe has done his homework and so he proceeds to hold Rep. @MaElviraSalazar feet to the fire for claiming she brought funding to her district, yet voted against the bills that actually did that. He does not permit her to deflect and duck. It’s excellent stuff, we really need to guys like him …
Amendment of the Week
This is quite an amendment … (Spoiler: this Amendment is not MAGA Friendly). Enjoy this excellent example of how to play the game well by getting all this read into the record …
Others really do matter
Even if you don’t agree with all he says and does, he is still a decent human being and stands as a rather stark contrast to the Republican candidate who has no redeeming qualities and is utterly devoid of any basic human decency or integrity.
Finally…
Here are a few thoughts on things that could be popped into the next State of the Union on March 7 …